My mind has been lost lately. On everything. It feels like I'm not doing a good job with my kiddos. I sit here wondering how I'm going to handle 3 when I have 2 that are too much for me some days. Creedy, my oldest, has autism. He has started hitting people and throwing things. It has been almost 3 1/2 years since hes done that. It was so much easier when he was doing this when he was younger. After doing everything I can to get him to stop, it has only gotten worse. He has more anger than I have ever seen before. And I hate saying it, but I think it might be time for help. Like therapy, medical, etc. Jaxy, soon to be my middle, but currently my youngest, also has autism but he has ODD on top. I have never meet a more defiant kid. He also has anger issues. But not as bad as creedy. Jaxy just does what he wants. No matter the consequence. On top of that, creedy learns from jaxy despite being older. Creedys mental age is younger than jaxys. 

But I have learned that everyone learns differently. Even my 2. I think what happens is no one understand each other. So both kids get mad. Then they take it out on each other. Despite always being by them or them never leaving my side, someone always finds a way to be "mean". 

We always gentle parent. We try not to yell as we believe they shut down when we do. 

We are learning just like they are. And we are excited to continue to learn and do our best. It might take a couple of months to figure our how to do things, but that's ok. This journey is definitely worth it. It has thaught me so many things.